Notes from an Amateur Shrink
My better half is reflective.
If I could divorce myself, I would.
He lied so well he fooled himself.
Without self-direction, you’re lost.
Maybe try the gospel, you pagan.
Children are natural philosophers.
Being human is an art few master.
To others, we are what we project.
Become if you must. Be if you can.
If only joy was as loyal as suffering.
To conquer happiness, relinquish it.
The more we deny, the more we admit.
Vanity is intolerable, except in ourselves.
’Tis better to feel pain than nothing at all.
Even those who live on Easy Street suffer.
Few egos deserve the acclaim they receive.
Some of the most anguished cries are silent.
Confidence needn’t announce itself. It shows.
Indifference wounds pride more than criticism.
Suicide is like being a traitor to your own cause.
My life has been one mid-life crisis after another.
Love receives its highest appraisal from solitude.
I shall hide no longer in the darkness. Here I am.
It’s ok to be an outsider, just not in your own skin.
If despair were a plant, isolation would be the soil.
Most of us serve a life-term in self-erected prisons.
Light a candle inside yourself. What is illuminated?
We can travel the world and still not know ourselves.
Behind the shades of myself, I sense someone hiding.
The character we form in childhood crystallizes in age.
If you want to be understood, stop defying explanation.
The big empire of want destroys the little state of being.
Often, we feel the strongest after a period of weakness.
His smile was a front, covering up the sadness beneath.
Music to my ears. — Be not bitter. Whistle a sweet tune.
As soon as happiness wins a victory, it begins to retreat.
I cannot sing the blues, but I do entertain them regularly.
Typically, a breakdown is the first step towards recovery.
Disappointments are simply hopes that haven’t aged well.
The ills of life are common even if the cures are individual.
People are more apt to hear the truth when it’s whispered.
Excuses are as common as muck. Don’t get stuck in them.
In my sleep, I encounter the stranger I ignore when awake.
When you count your blessings, round up instead of down.
Being better than the next guy ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
The smartest person in the room isn’t always the one talking.
If you want an insider’s perspective, consult your conscience.
When paired with sex, primal scream therapy is very effective.
My mom has mixed feelings about me calling her my first love.
Greener Pastures. — Wherever I go, I miss where I have been.
Here is a record of my feelings. I hope they find an echo in you.
I’ve been waiting my whole life for a tragedy to validate my tears.
I’m forever longing for the past, which I so carelessly threw away.
My heart is a revolutionary, one emotional upheaval after another.
If you knew what was going on in my head, you’d be nervous too.
I not only listen to you. I record every memorable thing that you say.
He was a mystery unto himself — until his wife walked into the room.
The apothecary wryly remarked, “Apathy is the best tonic for despair.”
A Nietzschean parody. — Whatever doesn’t hurt me makes me softer.
We take a complex view of ourselves and a simplified view of others.
The public struggles are not nearly as interesting as the private ones.
In this society, the well adjusted are the ones that really need therapy.
The picture is of little importance. It’s the way you frame it that counts.
I try to look at myself objectively, but the subject always gets in the way.
The more we repeat ourselves, the less we are heard. Say it softly, once.
If you give people the space to be different, they might just surprise you.
A Freudian slip. — My consciousness is definitely not in the driver’s seat.
We can easily makeover the outside, but the inside is a long-term project.
Sanity is like pornography. I’m not sure what it is, but I know it when I see it.
Herr Hamlet. — I’m not a lady. That’s why I don’t protest too much, methinks.
My internal conflicts are vaguely reminiscent of my mother and father fighting.
Bad neighborhood. — I’ve accepted my lot in life. I just don’t want to live there.
The less we know about ourselves, the more we pretend to know about others.
Taking something for granted is best remedied by having that thing taken away.
Success is a present feeling — not a future goal. Plans don’t make a man happy.
In my clinical experience, those who claim to have it all together are generally liars.
To achieve emotional wellbeing, I recommend crying often and laughing even more.
If you ever moved from that tired old spot, your worldview wouldn’t be so consistent.
I think we’re all a bit confused — even those who appear to be most sure of themselves.
The truth lies in the darkest corners of our soul right next to the skeletons in the closet.
Given a choice between emotional harmony and material excess, I would choose both.
A vocation is different from a job in that it nourishes the soul as well as it feeds the body.
At least those that talk about themselves incessantly aren’t hiding what is on their minds.
Note to self. — The best way to maintain anyone’s attention is to keep talking about them.
If you see the shores of paradise, swim to them. If you’re already there, rest on the beach.
He secretly craved honors even if he always pretended to be above the opinions of others.
Self-doubt is healthy as long as it weighs a couple of pounds less than your self-confidence.
Never forget where you came from, but don’t let that stop you from getting where you’re going.
His wife reminded him that most men are oblivious to anything that doesn’t directly affect them.
Frequently, my folks used to tell me not to wish away my childhood. Unfortunately, I did not listen.
Self-righteousness proceeds from this false premise: what is right for me is right for everyone else.
The very moment you’re about ready to jump off the cliff, a rainbow seems to appear out of nowhere.
We are in such a hurry to get to the Promised Land that we fail to see the beautiful spots along the way.
It was the first time I had heard the birds’ song in months, and it wasn’t because they had stopped singing.
The Popeye defense. — I am what I am, and that’s all that I am — the classic and arguably most justifiable excuse for preserving the status quo.
We appreciate those who accept us as we are even if we cannot pass our own private inspection. Poor quality control can sometimes be a good thing.
Thanks, Dad. — I run from the conscience I acquired from mother through the escape tactics I learned from father.
Change is a bitch because we often have to endure the loss before realizing the gain. If we can get through the initial sacrifice, however, the returns are generally quite handsome.
We are never fully prepared for any endeavor, yet this is no excuse not to begin. We learn more in the doing than in the planning.
If you await ideal conditions to embark upon your dreams, you will never end up leaving the port. In this case, as in most, the perfect is the enemy of the good.
Bottoms up. — Drink from the chalice for the brief moment it is in your hand. It may not come around again.
If you develop a keen sensitivity and capacity for observation, you will soon recognize how much escapes your notice.
Only by assuming another’s vantage point can we begin to see the world from their perspective. This is the right angle in which to view others.
The ego’s gatekeeper welcomes every flattering lie into the house and turns away each truthful criticism at the door. We entertain pride at the cost of self-knowledge.
Many a man avoids solitude to spare himself the uneasiness of being stuck alone in a room with a guy he barely knows.
Really, Socrates. — The unexamined life is not worth living. Tell that to your dog, and he’ll look at you quizzically, basically saying, “Oh yeah, who’s the fucked up one?”
Relative happiness. — My patients frequently tell me how consoling it is to have a doctor with worse problems than their own.
She came to me, hoping to improve her listening skills. I told her to pretend like she was eavesdropping.
An observation. — It’s easier to listen to somebody else when you’re not busy talking to yourself at the same time.
Never ask of your friends what you yourself could not give them. The better we leave someone, the easier it is to return.
In general, human beings are reactionary. They’re more apt to ask you where you’re from instead of where you’re going.
C’est la vie. — Life is the enigmatic process, whereby you continually find yourself in places you never thought possible.
SOS. — It’s refreshing starting anew and turning over the soil. But it’s usually not very long before we’re stepping in the same old shit.
Preoccupation is a psychological state in which we are unable to be where we are because we are stuck where we were. Be here now. The present is all we got.
If you look back through your life, you will notice certain patterns oft-repeated. These patterns form the fabric of your life. The better you understand the fabric, the more you will be able to manipulate its shape.
In the constant search for better circumstances so characteristic of our culture, we end up missing the possibilities hiding right under our noses. Happiness lies in the shallows, just beneath the waves of our expectations.
Act now. — The blunders of action are much easier to swallow than the regrets of inaction. Don’t wait until you’re on your deathbed to have this realization.
Not me. — Children generally recognize the existence of death without initially realizing the implication it holds for them.
In the short run. — Youngsters begin lying when they find out that it offers more rewards and fewer punishments than telling the truth.
There will be both joy and sorrow along the way, and if we can accept each of them as they pass by, the latter will be less and the former greater.
Be grateful. — Like tides, friendships ebb and flow on the shores of ourselves. And you never quite know for sure, if or when the wave will ever return.
I’ve made many investment errors in my life, but the biggest one was underestimating the value of family and friends. Don’t worry about overweighting this area of your portfolio. Go long on your loved ones.
We reach out across the broad expanse of love and despair and hope to find in another’s arms what we could not find in ourselves.
Weep with Me
You lay alone in the dark
Cold, naked, and blue
You cry and cry
But no one hears
Mother is gone
She cannot comfort you.